The loss of a pet is hard to cope with.
For children, and many adults, pets are viewed as family members or friends. Because of this, losing a pet can be just as traumatizing and hard to cope with as any death. Children who lose a pet will have a harder time if it is their first experience with death. No matter what age, it will be a difficult time for a child when a pet dies. There are steps parents can take to help their children cope by getting them through the grieving process with love and support.
Instructions
1. Tell your child that the pet has died. Even if your child witnessed the death, he may not understand what it means. Use a soothing voice. Tell him alone, in person and in a familiar place, such as his room or favorite play area. Explain that the pet will no longer move and will not come back, and it was not the child's fault in any way. Tell him how the pet died: sickness, injury or old age. Do not use terms such as "put to sleep" or "went away." Using those terms will make your child confused; he may wonder if he won't wake up when he sleeps, or why the pet chose to go away, and if he will ever return.
2. Answer any questions your child may have, openly and honestly. Tell your child it is okay to be sad, angry or have any other emotions she may be experiencing. Let her know that losing a pet is hard and it is okay for her to talk about her feelings.
3. Let your child take time to grieve. Do not tell him to "be strong" or "let it go." Do not force your child to move on. Do not assume that he is old enough to "get over it." Your child may need to take as much time as any adult would need to take to grieve if a loved one died.
4. Talk to your child about your own feelings. Tell your child about a time when you were a child and experienced the death of a pet, if applicable. If you are having a hard time with it, admit this to your child. Knowing that she is not alone in her feelings will help your child cope.
5. Have a funeral or memorial service for your pet, even if it is in the convenience of your own home. This will help your child cope, grieve and say goodbye. Before the service you can tell your child to write a letter or poem in a journal saying goodbye to his pet. If your child is younger, you can ask him to draw a picture saying goodbye.
6. Explain to family and friends that for a child, losing a pet is just like losing a friend or family member; ask them to be understanding and give support to your child.
7. Wait before getting another pet. It is a good idea to get another pet at some point, to show your child that she can have that special bond with another animal companion. However, make sure you don't adopt a new pet too soon. This would do more harm than good, as your child could feel resentment or guilt about the new pet because she views the new pet as a replacement for the friend she lost. Remember that even years later your child may still need to talk, laugh and reminisce about the pet that was lost.
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