In many ways, teenagers are big kids looking toward adulthood. They're facing new responsibilities and growing in independence, but they still want to be validated by the important adults in their lives, from parents and teachers to members of the extended family. Don't be shy about praising a teen and making him feel valuable; follow the below steps in order to make your teen feel like part of the family.
Instructions
1. Compliment a teen when a particular look or hairstyle works well. Teens like to experiment with their appearance. They might choose to spend months growing their hair long, only to suddenly decide to cut it really short. They could try a gothic look for a while and then change to preppie or a casual surfer look. Even if the style is something you'd never adopt for yourself, go out of your way to pay a compliment. Keep your comment short and sincere. Something like, "Cool hat!" or "I like your haircut" will validate your teen.
2. Praise positive behavior. Go beyond outward appearances and look into the heart of a teen. When she does something to benefit another person, take note and compliment her action. It could be anything from helping a younger sibling with homework to counseling a friend in crisis to donating some of her own money to a worthy cause, like a food drive. Notice and praise the good deeds.
3. Pay special attention to the quiet recluses and point out something praiseworthy about them. Some teens are exceedingly shy and blend into the background. It may be easier to notice the high-achieving stars than these shy violets, but every teen desires praise and recognition. If a quiet teen is good at strategy games, fixing cars or fiddling with computers, for example, or he can recite every bit of trivia related to Star Wars, compliment his unique ability. Do so and you may even start to see the teen come out of his shell.
4. Recognize school achievements. Getting a "B" grade on a difficult test, completing an enormous project on time, getting a positive comment from a teacher--any one of these merit your attention and validating words.
5. Include your teen in family decisions. Get your teen plugged into many aspects of family life. Ask for input and opinions, and take them seriously.
6. Listen when a teen talks. The ideas might be sensible or far-fetched, but either way, pay attention and treat the teenager the way you would an adult friend or colleague. Listen respectfully and attentively.
7. Take your teen out every once in a while just for the fun of it. Go to a favorite coffee shop or pizza place and spend a little time relaxing, de-stressing and reconnecting.
Tags: your teen